Two days away from the cause of this weeks problems, combined with an increase in sleep, has helped me to recover from Wednesdays issues. After having a panic attack on Wednesday night/Thursday morning (insomnia reared it's ugly head again), I knew I could not put myself through the situation. I needed sleep to be able to even start to deal with the situation. I could not look at it objectively and needed to have a clearer head.

I still feel low, scared and just want to stay in the comfort of my own home. I still just want to pull the duvet around me and want the world to go away. I did manage to pull myself out to a friends birthday gathering at the local dog racing track. Four close friends, some fast food and even breaking even on my bets did help my mood. It was good to see a group of friendly faces and have a laugh. I almost did not get there at all. After two major incidents on the local roads - the main roads to get from where I live to the track, the jams were huge. Luckily, I know the back roads fairly well, combined with my sense of direction (I have not lost that skill, yet), I managed to get there just in time.

She has been invited out next week. To a gig in the local city with some friends. It will depend on timing. She's not the quickest at getting ready. It takes her a bit longer than most girls to get ready. She doesn't go out often and although she is getting quicker, she still cannot get it any quicker! She hopes she can go - she enjoys going out and enjoys dressing up and making herself look good. It gives her such a thrill to try new things. I enjoy it when she comes out. After so long without seeing her, I am really enjoying her company and help in this very difficult struggle I am facing.

Going out for a drink with a good friend tonight. He has been through some of the problems I have been through recently and can see where I'm coming from. It will be good to talk to him.