Although I live very near a city renowned for it's carefree and liberal attitude, it's surprising that healthcare professionals only 10 miles down the road have no experience or knowledge of what is expected of them and the protocols in place. I realise that they may not have had a request for a referral before, but they should still be aware of the system. Right, rant over.
The outcome of the appointment; They would find out what steps they have to take and let me know within 3 weeks. What has actually happened; A referral to the local mental health team. The appointment - 5th of October. How do I feel about this? Well, luckily, I have spoken to someone who is going through the same process as me, albeit in the opposite direction, who started their journey in the same county as me. They had two appointments with their local mental health team before they got a referral, but they had their referral within 4 months. So, fingers crossed.
For the time being, I will just have to keep on being me - that is me 2.0, as much as possible. I need to be me 2.0 more and I fully intend to be. Even if it's just sitting in front of a computer, in a pyjama set, with a little bit of strategic padding................;)
Luckily enough, me 2.0 had a birthday party to go to last weekend. A chance to get out and about again. I will let me 2.0 take up the reigns.........Party time!! Time to get on the glad rags and become a glamour puss. and that's exactly what I did. The party was for a good friend of mine. We see each other on a regular basis (unfortunately as me 1.0) and is very supportive of me and my decision. I spent my time getting ready and this was the finished look:
Due to the fact that I was a bit scared, I drove to the nearest town to catch the train. However, once out, I felt.....ALIVE! I walked to the station, bought my ticket and made my way to the platform. I didn't care if people stared at me or whispered behind my back, I felt gorgeous and (hopefully) looked it.
My friend said that she and her new Boyf would meet me at the station. As my train pulled into the station, I couldn't see her or her Boyf. No problem, with my confidence at a high, I proceeded to the exit. My confidence was further boosted by the comment the guard made as I walked past; 'Goodnight Miss'. If I hadn't have had quite a lot of make up on, I would have gone a very dark shade of pink!
My friend and her Boyf were just coming onto the platform as I was leaving, so we walked back to the pub and whilst they continued, I started the merriment. It was a very nice evening surrounded by friends old and new and as usual, I felt completely at ease and accepted. I think that me 2.0 is how I'm perceived now (at least I hope so). However, the last train home beckoned and we had to leave. Back to the station we went and the train we did catch. My friend an her Boyf left the train 2 stops before me, leaving me on my own. Yes, I got stared at and no, I didn't care. Off the train I got and I walked to the bus stop to get the night bus. Walking through my local town was a bit scary - lone woman on her own late at night. Luckily it was along very well lit roads and the area around the bus stop was busy.
As usual, the bus was delayed. Yes, even at 12am, it was delayed. So I had to wait. Eventually it came and I knew my time to shine was nearly over. Once at home it was time to become......me 1.0 again. Stripped back to the bare bones again. Back to reality. Time to put away the proper me and become the shell of me. The me who is trying to change.
That's the last few weeks in a nutshell. The next few will be interesting and I will keep you updated. Onwards and upwards - hopefully!
