So, another week and another week done. This week though, ends on a positive note. Let me explain....my employer is opening another branch in a town closer to where I live. This is all very hush hush at the moment although the company grapevine has been working overtime. Now, I fancy the opportunity to open a new branch, it's right up my street. Setting something up from new, building up a branch from scratch. Now, I have heard my name mentioned for this branch and a few people have told me to talk to my area manager and  put my name forward. 

Right, fast forward to today. My area manager turned up (a planned visit). One of his jobs was to speak to me. The upshot of our discussion is that, subject to whom they place as the manager, I will be going to the new branch. WooHoo!! However, it won't be confirmed until at least February 2015, but at least I now know or sure my area managers plans. Roll on February!!

This follows on from a great Thursday. The day my alter ego came out to play. A trip to the local city with my friend for coffee and shopping. This also came with a new look which I wanted to try:

I got some good feedback from people and a few looks from a lot of people! I also had some good feedback from my temporary flatmate, whom I didn't realise was in (and me her) until I was about to leave home. So, I had to explain the situation and she said that she didn't realise it was me until I said! So, I can't be doing too bad! That is good for the confidence. I have now also told my full time flat mate - who said it had already been mentioned to him! So all that worrying for nothing! This does now mean that I can dress more often at home and not worry too much about it. 

The fact that I can be around more often is a great boost to my confidence. The ability to be myself at home more and to go out more is fabulous news for me. I was so relieved that the flatmates were so understanding and supportive - I was a little worried, I must admit!! This on top of a successful shopping trip, meant it has been a good week.

I got my party dress for the birthday party in a few weeks - I just need everything to go with it now! Shoes, handbag, underwear, makeup............

That's his Christmas bonus spent (I don't think so!!) LOL! ;) I really want to bling it up and outdo the birthday gurl. I have been told I have to by the gurl herself. What's a girl to do, I can't let her down.....

I must also say thank you to my good friend who i went shopping with. She is really encouraging and has given me so much help and advice. I will be forever in her debt.

So there you have it. Our week in a nutshell. Hopefully this is the start of some good changes in our lives. Less of me and more of my alter ego.....

Now it's my turn! So, he has given you a little taster as to where I am at in my mind and what is going to happen in the future (hopefully!). It is good to be appreciated and given the chance to get out more. I am enjoying myself and that reflects positively on the person around me. That in turn then means that we can become ourselves and start to finally grow into the person who we feel we should be. That can only be good, right?

I have been shopping on ebay again - don't tell him, he'll only moan - just for a few essentials (and maybe a new hairdo!). The sum total of my purchases is a make up bag, an over the shoulder handbag and a wig.....and a new cleavage enhancing stick on bra. Well, this gurl needs all the help she can get!! Mother nature didn't intend me to have natural curves, so I have to create my own! Pic's will be posted next week of my purchases once I have decided on my shopping outfit. 

Shopping.......It's that time again. My monthly trip out with my good friend. I do look forward to these trips out. She has been very good to me, as has her partner, in accepting me and nurturing me and giving me the opportunity to express myself. For that, we will be eternally grateful.  This is helping my confidence, my appearance and my self belief that I have in myself, that I can be who I want to be. It may come to a point where I want to be around all the time, if I feel that is the way forward. Only time will tell.

Party time.......I have been invited to the birthday party of another gurl. A customer of mine, also likes to be let out once in a while. As we have got to know each other in a work environment, we wanted to see each other outside of that environment and see the people behind the facade. We have seen photos of each other and now we should finally be able to meet properly. This is a bit scary for me, as the party is being held in a pub, in a small village, in the middle of the countryside. The locals know as she goes in all the time, so they should be receptive, but I will have to be on my guard as there may be some negativity - I have been warned as it has happened before to her. It's a leap I need to take though - the only way I am going to gain confidence is by going to new places, meeting new people and being me and being who I want to be.................and I love being me!! xxxx

For once, a happier post. As I am feeling better, the world is currently looking a little rosier. I have been eating better, so I am feeling better, which in turn makes life a little bit easier. After the past few months, things could only get better.

So, what's changed? Not much, my job is still causing me grief, my manager is still useless, I'm still single, I still have a malaise about me, however, I am embracing my new found depth of sleep, my new found love for my alter ego and my new way of doing certain things. The sleep issue has been one of my biggest problems for many years. Sleepless nights, light sleep and broken sleep have taken their toll on my mental and physical health. Since I started to feel really unwell, I have found that on my days off, instead of waking up at, say, 7am and then not being able to get back to sleep, I have been sleeping in until at least midday - actual sleep - not just dozing. I have even been having a few minutes napping at work at lunch times. This has been very welcome and has, in no small part, contributed to my current better mood. Long may it continue!

On to my new love for my alter ego. As she is now going out more and her look and transformation process is becoming more refined, I am enjoying having her around more. She is going out next week - shopping in the local city with a good friend -and she has been invited to a party of another 'alter-egoist' in a couple of weeks. That will be a real test for her, as she hasn't been seen by the birthday boy/girl, other than in photo's and the fact that no-one at the venue will be known to her. Scary times! This is the leap she needs to make if she is to keep evolving and growing in confidence. 

Now for the new way of doing certain things. After my comments in a previous post regarding smoothing out the edges of my blokeness, I have been trying to refine the little things I do and say. Just little changes, like the way I hold things, the way I stand, the way I sit, the way I drive and the increased emphasis on improving my appearance, just by ironing my clothes and shaving more regularly. This is also having a positive effect on my love for my alter ego and the better eating habits. Fingers crossed that it may continue. I am not getting over enthusiastic; I want to take a more considered approach for once and take things slowly. Little steps.......

Life is a journey - don't waste time wondering, just go. That should be my mantra, but, I am always procrastinating and putting things off. Story of my life. If I had put off my marriage, perhaps I wouldn't be in this position! Jesting aside, it is becoming a bigger issue, the older I get. I want to do things - like bringing my alter ego out more - but when I get home in the evenings, I just can't be bothered.

Admittedly, I haven't been well recently and that hasn't helped, but that doesn't excuse my long term malaise. I know I am the only one who can move myself forward and now I am feeling a little better and have a little more zing, I hopefully can start to move myself forward. Small steps, not great big leaps. Fingers crossed!

Another bonus, is the possibility of a move to a new store at work. As my current manager is as about as useful as a chocolate fireguard - I run the branch, he just bumbles his way through - I will be glad to get away. He has already been asked if he could cope without me. He said yes, I say no. Only time will tell.

To aid my 'recovery', I decided to take a walk along the stretch of beach near where I live. The combination of a slight breeze, sea spray and sunshine really cleared the cobwebs away. To me, it was absolute bliss!

I don't get to do this very often, so having a half day yesterday and with a break in the rain, meant that I could indulge once again.

No alter ego this week and probably not next week either. However, with my new sense of journey, I will endeavour to indulge her and help her into the world if it is possible. I know she is eager to get out more and I know I've said it many times before, but I do intend to try harder. She can be very hurtful at times and I had enough of that in my marriage!! Onwards and upwards............

Hiya! Although I haven't been outside today, it was good to get out. After the disappointment of not being around last week, today has made me smile. Well, it's time to try on my recent purchases and sort some outfits out!

After a nice relaxing bath and some preparation (a lady never reveals her secrets!), it was time for my transformation. I tried some different makeup today, something a bit more basic and a bit more natural. I sometimes have a tendency to put on a bit too much, even when i'm trying to look natural, so today was a good time to tone it down.

I'd bought a couple of new tops, cardigans and a skirt recently, so I wanted to try some different looks and to see what goes best. I'm just getting used to the art of layering and perfecting my everyday look. I have plenty of dresses for going to parties and evenings out, but didn't really have any everyday clothes. Two shopping trips with a good friend later and a modest amount of money spent (cough!) has resulted in a basic everyday wardrobe.

This is one new cardie, top and skirt, teamed with some thick tights (it's a bit cold today).

The second cardie, new top and skirt, teamed with some boots.

The new jumper teamed with a pleather jacket and jeans.

I also tried a couple of variations of outfits with some older items, so I now have a greater range of ideas for the future. It won't stop my buying more - he'll just have to work harder! (I'm trying to work less, not more!) Hopefully I will be able to try some of these out soon. I have a day off next week, so dependant on the weather/his mood, the world will be my oyster. xx

So, my general well-being is a bit low at the moment. Even after a week off, I am still tired, my body is still rebelling against me and work is still.....well.....work. Work is the major cause of my problems. My boss is still useless, my head office are still atop their ivory towers and I still do not want to go to work. The problem is, as I'm feeling low, it makes it incredibly difficult to make any changes to make things better. Catch 22.

At least I am going out a bit more. That, I have realised, is better than sitting at home and stewing on my problems. The holiday did help, although I think I slept through most of it. It was nice not having to get up and go anywhere or do anything. I did not go up t'north in the end. My friend forgot I was coming up. In a way I was relieved as it gave me more chance to relax, but I really want to make the effort to go up and see them.

As I am off for two whole days this week (Excited!), I think an outing is due on one of those days. I am tempted to go out on my own, somewhere quiet, just for a walk. Weather dependant, of course......

.........and as I couldn't go out last week, I think I will go out. You see, I was supposed to go out for Halloween. I had my outfit ready - Zombie Schoolgirl, I had done all my preparation, I was ready to go. Then, he throws a spanner in the works by getting in a strop with work. Yet again, I lost out. I shouldn't be surprised really, I never thought that me being around was going to be easy. Finding time for one person is tiring enough, let alone two people!! As long as I don't get pushed aside all the time and can come out to play, frequently and when time allows, it should work. Shouldn't it? 

I will make the effort to take her out - hopefully it will calm me down a little. Not seeing my boss for three days will help as well. Onwards and upwards.......