Everything was going well until a text message arrived this evening. Now, I want to maim my branch manager or at least spear him with a sharpened extension pole.
Let me explain. This blog is charting my struggles within. Gender is one aspect of my current fragile mental state, the other being work. After being told that I could not apply for the two jobs that were my next step - without any real reasons why, I have been questioning my worth at work. That, coupled with basically being taken advantage of by my area manager, my branch managers lack of getting even the basics right and his inability to pass on the minimum of info needed to run the branch in his absence mean that I feel physically sick - and often am - before I even go to work.

The text message. Monday the 11th of November 2013. My branch manager is on holiday for a week. The new full timer has her day off. I am in, as is the full timer due on maternity leave. The full timer has a dentist appointment tomorrow, mid morning. My branch manager knew this on Friday. We had a discussion regarding my feelings about work and how I have to babysit him as he forgets to do things that he should be doing - the basics. HE FORGETS TO TELL ME THAT I WILL BE ON MY OWN MONDAY AND DOES NOT GET ME ANY COVER!!!! I think that constitutes a basic. It is one of a long line of problems that I have to clear up that he has created. Hence now you can see why I want to maim him.

I need her to be here with me. These feelings of anger, violence and hatred can only be dissipated by her. I must make time for her this week. I am going to have to ask an enormous amount of her this week. This week is going to be an extreme test of my sanity and I am not hopeful. She may be the only one to stop me from going over the edge.