No blog for a few days, Sorry!! What with visitors and trips to the cinema (to see a play?) there just hasn't been time.

How am I? Well, I am having periods of self doubt, periods of anger, periods of feeling worthless. I don't like it. I am not used to it. I can't get used to having so many feelings in such a short space of time. That makes things worse. I am not feeling as low as I did last week, but I still have a long way to go.

I was lucky enough to have a friend visit my humble abode on Wednesday. We were meant to go out for a drink, but we spent about four hours just talking. We talked about anything and everything. We talked about my problems, their problems and our histories. It was very therapeutic and it was good to share things with someone as sympathetic as this person is. They are also having their own issues at the moment, so it was good to be able to share thoughts and help each other.

Last night, I went to the cinema to see a National Theatre production of Frankenstein at the local multiplex with a couple of friends. Benedict Cumberbatch as the monster and Jonny Lee Millar as Victor. It was a very good production and the performances were amazing. Afterwards, we went for dinner. On the way there, I had a revelation. It was something one of my friends said and it flicked a switch in my overworked brain. I asked my self this question : Why does everyone who I should love, like my Mum, Dad and now ex wife hurt me and not show me any love? Why do the people who should be the closest to me treat me this way? To go as long as I have and not realise that fact is beyond me. It does hurt. It hurts that everyone who I have been close to has rejected me. Am I that bad a person? What am I doing wrong? Why do people do this to me? 

Today, I am meeting a friend for lunch, and hopefully visiting a couple of people. Tonight, I am cat sitting for a friend, so I can escape the confines of my abode for a few hours. They say a change is as good as a rest.