I went out for a drink (well a cola as I was driving) with a close friend last night. In our own ways, we have both had a difficult couple of days. Mine is still my mental fragility, my friends is physically which is affecting her mentally. We chatted about our problems, how we are feeling and where our problems are coming from. Then my friend said something about this blog which got me thinking.....

This blog is intended to help me empty my mind of any thoughts that are affecting my life and sleep. Usually this means that the blog is full of frustration, negative thoughts and sadness. It is a reflection of my mental state at that time. My friend suggested that I start to write about some more positive aspects of my life. Start to include the good points as well as the bad ones. This would give me and the readers of this blog a more balanced view of the progress I am making through my issues and the (hopefully) more positive outcomes in the future. I am at the beginning of a long journey - I will have good days and I will have bad days.

So.....one piece of good news, is the phone call confirming my face to face counselling session. It is not until February, but at least I have a confirmed start date now. That is now another positive step in my progression forward. I have also decided on the changes I am going to make in the new year. I intend to lose weight and tone up, grow my hair, dress more as my alter ego - at home and when going out and increase my savings. These will all help me should I decide to transition. I have to change my mindset and I see this as a good way of achieving this.

The next few weeks will be hard to get through as Christmas is not the happiest time of year for me. I am trying to stay positive. I am wondering whether to put my decorations up or not. Only I am going to see them. It may make me feel better, it may not. Only time will tell.