I've got a bit of an issue at the moment. It's not an issue that is causing me any major anguish, just a lack of sleep. I've had problems with my sleep for a number of years and this is just another issue in a long line of issues which cause brain to say "Sleep? No, No, No, why would you want to do that? Lets make your mind go over this issue again and again and again." I have now become resigned to the fact that this will happen on a almost daily basis.

The issue this time, is related to me 2.0. Me 1.0, just can't stop imagining me 2.0 in a range of scenarios. Now, I'm quite happy that this is the only thing keeping me awake, however, it makes me 1.0 want to be me 2.0 even more. Now, you may say "Well, why don't you?" and it is a question I often ask myself. Really, there is no reason why I can't. My problem is a). It's a bit cold to at the moment; b). I tend to get in from work and just watch the TV and c). I procrastinate. 

You see, when me 2.0 has an event coming up, say the gig at the arts centre, I start to imagine me 2.0 in a range of scenarios. As it's being held on Valentines day, supposedly one of the most romantic days of the year, all I think about is, basically, having a snog and a dance with a sexy man or woman. To quantify it, in my mind they would have to pretty drunk to even consider it, but if I can pass as well as people say, anything is possible! ;)

The thing is, the fantasy doesn't end there. Oh no. My brain then wanders into what if territory. So, in this scenario, my brain says "Let's take this a stage further and make a relationship out of it.". So, my mind then goes into a story arc of kissing, cuddling, doing things together - with me 1.0 and 2.0. I even imagine telling my family, should he relationship not be what they consider 'normal'. It's usually the same situation every night, with a few small alterations. I'm usually the one who likes to be held, cuddled and taken care of.

Could it saying something about my innermost thoughts and dreams? Probably. Will they actually happen? Who knows? This time 4 years ago, I wasn't expecting to be in the situation I am now. I expected to be married with at least one child and living in a modest house. The reality is, I'm flat sharing, opposite the flat I used to live in with my ex, being me 1.0 and 2.0 and having fun with a brilliant group of friends. To be honest, I'm happier with the latter. I couldn't imagine myself still married with a child and a mortgage. I've found myself again. 

Tonight will be no different. I just have to make sure that I don't build this particular night out up too much and expect these things to happen. As long as I have a good time and pass as me 2.0, that will be all I could hope for.