After the euphoria of last weekend, my mood has only dipped slightly. I am sill buzzing over Friday night and how well it went. This has been backed up by the fact that apparently, at least two people tried to pull me at the party and more than I thought didn't believe I wasn't a genetic woman. Now, the cynical side of me puts that down to low lighting and beer goggles!

You see, in my eyes, I look like me but in a dress. I can still see past the makeup, wig and padding and it is me. I am finally coming round to the fact that I might actually pass as female provided I get everything right; Walking, talking, mannerisms and movement. Remembering to change these is a hard task, especially when they are all to an extent the opposite to my normal routines. That will only come with practice and patience.

I must have been doing some of these right to illicit that kind of reaction. It was more than I ever could imagine and a major confidence boost. I was apparently the main topic of conversation in the pub on Saturday night and I have been told, tongue in cheek I hasten to add, that I outshone the birthday girl!! I never intended to, but she told me it would be alright to, so I did!! 

Now, the thing is that I mustn't get carried away by this. Yes, it is good for a confidence boost in the here and now, but, there will come a time when negative comments and negative actions will rear their ugly head. I mustn't let these affect me to the extent that my alter ego becomes a chore or I become frightened of being her. I also mustn't let it cloud my issue of what gender I wish to be. Yes, I love the adulation I have received. Yes, I enjoy being her. However, that is only a small side of being that particular gender. The dressed up and looking the best you can side. There is a whole lot more to it than that. 

So, with this in mind, I am going to try to set aside a few days, within the next four months and try to live as a female. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. If that goes well, then I will try to do it again and for longer. I can only try. If my long term plan involves changing gender, it will be a good exercise. 

So far, next year is looking a whole lot better than this or last year. I hope that the future is brighter than it has been. Surely it can't get any worse? Of course it can't, I'm not married anymore.......... :)