It's been a daily struggle recently. These feelings inside me have been growing and growing and they are starting to affect my views on who I should be.
She was part of my life when my parents split. She helped me to get through the hurt and anger that I felt at the time. She was my escape from my unhappy world, created by my parents and my peers.

She came and went over the course of the next 8 years, usually when I felt low or unloved. She made me feel special and wanted, loved and needed. She would only allow me to see her - she felt self conscious and said she only felt comfortable with me.

Then love came into my life and she left me alone. The visits became less and less frequent, until she I stopped seeing her completely. She could see I was in love and understood that we could not see each other anymore.

Love then dealt me a near fatal blow. I was sideswiped by an event that shattered my love and left me bereft of ideas and a sense of belonging. That was when she reappeared into my life, bold as brass. Time had made her braver and she was more sure of herself. I was glad of her presence around me - she helped me to recover from the hurt and pain of losing my love and helped me to rebuild my shattered confidence. I confided in her, reached out to her and eventually, started to fall in love with her.

Now, she has become an integral part of my world and I couldn't imagine life without her - that is now the problem I am facing. I can't live without her.