Life is strange. Mine is full of interesting people, places, events and situations. Highs and lows. Rights and wrongs. My life has been a rollercoaster over the past few years and it's not going to stop anytime soon. My decision to pursue Gender Reassignment Surgery (GRS) is going to divide opinion, cause upset and alienate some people in my sphere of influence. I have so far been encouraged by the responses of my friends - even though I have one who keeps asking me if I'm sure. I keep saying I'm sure. I haven't been so sure of anything since I first put on a dress and decided I enjoyed it. 

So, how far have I got? Well......not very far. With working 47.5 hours per week over the past few weeks, I haven't had time to re-register at a local doctors and start the process. It's frustrating, but my fault. So, I've started to make subtle changes in my life to compensate and hopefully make the transition slightly easier. Things like growing my hair, taking better care of myself, slightly feminising my mannerisms. Not too much of the last one, but enough in the right company.

It's been a good and bad week,for me 2.0. I'll let me 2.0 explain...........

A while ago, A friend of mine, who is a very good singer by the way, had got a gig at the pub where I have been a few times with my 'sister' (she'll love me for saying that!). So, I was invited to go. Obviously I was going to go - miss a chance to get dressed up? Never! I had been looking forward to it for ages. Then, me 1.0's new branch opened. The week of the gig. Ah. The fact me 1.0 had to work until 5pm meant that I didn't have a lot of time to get ready. 

So the night before, I had to hog the bathroom to feminise myself. It takes a lot of preparation to get this body looking even vaguely feminine! Finally, after about an hour of de-fuzzing, scrubbing and moisturising, part one was complete. This went a long way to helping me with my lack of prep time on the Friday.

Originally, the plan was to glam up. I had a new dress and everything. Then weather that evening said otherwise. I messaged my friend that I sadly wasn't going to glam up, but would still make an effort. And I did. I even managed to do my make up in an hour. It wasn't my best effort, but I think I got away with it. Just ;)

In the car I got and drove for about an hour - that's dedication for you. The feelings of nervousness that I used to feel when going out on my own and going into places on my own are lessening. It helps when I have been somewhere before, as I have here. So I parked up and walked into the pub. Disappointingly, it wasn't very busy. The weather - heavy rain and wind, a beer festival and other events conspired to keep people away.

The friend with whom I normally go in the pub with hadn't arrived yet and eventually arrived about 45 mins later. They did have mitigating circumstances though. However, my friend was setting up and the landlord and landlady recognised me and immediately put me at ease. It was good to have catch up with my friend and we had a chat about my decision to go for GRS. She was really pleased that I had made the decision to go for it. That is real validation of my decision. Confidence boosted accordingly!

The lack of audience combined with a few, shall we say, unappreciative audience members didn't help her cause, but when they left and it was just a few hardened souls left, she really let rip! Even I had a boogie and I felt totally at ease with myself. For me,it was a good evening. Again, I was sad when it was over and me 2.0 had to disappear again. Hopefully this is the beginning of me 2.0 being me 1.0. Fingers crossed.

After the highs of the gig, last night I had a taste of the lows of my decision. I am eventually going to tell my mum that I want to become her daughter. Whilst visiting her and my stepdad last night, an advert for I am Cait the programme about Caitlyn Jenner came on. My stepdad, who is from a certain era, made some disparaging comments about her and called her a heshe, and a freak. I had to bite my tongue. I fear it isn't going to be an easy task when he finds out. I think he is the person least likely to accept it. It is the first piece of negativity I have come across and I doubt it will be the last.

Onwards and upwards. It hasn't swayed me from my decision. I'm still going to ask for GRS. It's still my goal. It's still my dream and it's a dream I intend to come true. Hopefully most people will join me for the ride. It's going to be bumpy, lumpy and there will unfortunately be no rumpy pumpy! I have a good set of friends around me who understand and I hope will be there for me as they have done up till now. Buckle up!