I cannot seem to get my head straight. I know what I have to do, it is just a case of getting the impetus to do it. I need some stimulation to get me going, but I am having trouble finding it. All I seem to do is sit and hypothesise if and what and then I procrastinate about what to do. I just cannot seem to make a decisive plan of action about the way forward.

Now, I have not had an easy couple of years and the events that have occurred have pushed me to the very edge of my limits. This, in turn, has led me to question many aspects of my life; Past life events, Gender, Work, Relationships, Friendships and my own state of mind. Some I am now dealing with, which has pulled me back from the brink. Since the start of the year, things had been going well, but recently, I have lost my mojo. 

My alter ego has not been out to play recently either. The weather has not helped matters. The constant rain and wind since the start of the year have made me want to stay at home, especially over the past couple of weeks. It is at times like this, that I miss having someone to snuggle up to and keep warm in the evening. I want to do things, go places as my alter ego, but it all seems like a lot of effort and so I cannot be bothered. Then I get angry with myself for not doing the things I should and so the cycle continues. Even completing this blog seems like a chore. I know I have to make the effort though. One step at a time........

Hopefully I will be able to pull myself out of this malaise and continue the good work that I have started. I need to move forward and not backward. I have a lot to do this year and every second counts.